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Friday, August 9, 2019

go between child

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Professor Lindemann


English 101


July 10, 00 College papers on go between child Its hard to remember what it was like to have my mother and father in the same


room for than five minutes. My parents have been divorced for eight years now. If you


asked anyone who knew them they would probably say it had been over for many years


before that. My mother would go further and just say, "Man, hes been an ass to me right


from the start.cheated on, lied to, taken for granted, and its always just been me and the


kids wherever we go. Hes never around, that piece of shit!"


She was the one who was perpetually let down, and she sure let my father know


with who, with what, when, where at, and why he was a disappointment to her. It was


just about the only kind of interaction she enjoyed with him. My mother a very strong,


loud, hotheaded. I mean red-headed, scary (to some people), doesnt put up with


anything type of person was playing the"victim." My mother was always a teacher when


she wasnt a stay-at-home mom. There was no escaping her; she was there in the


morning, after school, weekends, vacations, plus all summer long. The word privacy


didnt even exist in her house much less respecting it. Plus, she wasnt the one to go have


dinner with friends or even call them to talk; therefore, I was the one she vented to


regularly, responsible to actually listen to this caddy drama, and try to make some sense


out of it to explain it to her. I would get so angry at her sometimes for the role of


confidant simply because I see my father differently for issues that didnt have to come to


my attention. Curious as to what her intent in the first place.


I was Daddys little girl, "Wheres my Princess?" he would say, walking in at


505 p.m. from work. I remember because for a couple of years I was the only child, so I


would be waiting for him. My father a very hard worker, strong, kind of stubborn, also


liked to yell to get his point across was just tired, I think. He worked outside in the sun


from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. for Entex Gas a company that his sister works in the office for and


that his father retired from years earlier. Im sure he had fun there…all day. Then on


some nights and all weekends he would go referee sports ranging from the little league


baseball, high school basketball, to Texas A&I University Football. It kept him away


from home a lot, but you can tell he really loved to go do it. Im positive he didnt work


nights just so my mom and I could go buy whatever we wanted, even though that was his


explanation whenever mother wanted to start nagging him about being home more often.


My favorite memory is every morning when I was 5 years old we would cuddle up in our


rocking chair that we barely could move once you sat, but still loved. We would sit and


watch "The Transformers" cartoon and then "The Bozo Show" every morning.


Afterwards, he would walk me across the street to school and stay until I got inside.


Funny thing is that occasionally he would sprint to his work truck as if something were


wrong. I didnt know why then, but know thinking about it because even though he knew


he was late he would not hurt me so he would still stay to see me in. A year later my


other was born; and instantly I became just his daughter, and the father-son bond


began, and grew stronger by the minute. It added to the feud that was just between


parents and made it mother and daughter vs. father and son. On one occasion my parents


argument had somehow spiraled and my father locked himself in the hallway bathroom


with myother. Apparently my mother threatened to leave, again. Sobbing my father


just keeps saying, Youre not taking my son away from me!! Youre not! NOT MY


SON!!! I was sitting in my doorway at the end of the hallway and probably wouldnt


have noticed what exactly he was saying until my mother yelled back at my father at the


top her lungs," You have a daughter too asshole, what about her?" He replied, "its too


late for her. I know I already fucked up with her, she hates me. I still have him."


Considering I was ten I thought that was just the stupidest thing I have heard still to this


day. Made me realize that myother and I just werent ammo they had to use against


each other, but that is how my father really felt about me. It is still taking time to


understand why they continued the battle for so long. Once it was final. Myother and


I were shocked. We never truly believed it would happen.


I have become a parent myself recently , and as I am now understanding how hard


it is to be in a relationship no matter the circumstances. Ive heard my mothers voice of


anger or jealousy come out of my mouth. Im not surprised. I just hope


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